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Woe is me. I've crashed my bicycle and made a bit of a mess of myself. Everything hurts.

Badly swollen nose, with a big gash over the bridge.
Three stitches in my top lip, also swollen and sore.
Sprained wrist.
Sore knee with two big gashes across the knee cap.
Sore hip.
Sore elbow.
A cut right next to my left eye courtesy of my glasses.
General cuts, scratches and bruises on my arms and legs.

There was blood everywhere. On my phone, iPod, glasses, helmet, face, clothes, arm, knee.

Due to my nose, I can't wear glasses and therefore am unable to drive, or indeed see anything beyond the end of my nose. Also my glasses were badly damaged in the accident, so I need new ones. Due to my knee and hip, I can't walk very far or very fast. Due to the stitches, swelling and most likely the anesthetic, it's also hard for me to talk without slurring.

All in all it's been quite a poor day for me today. Topped off by a four hour visit to A&E.

On the bright side, my tash and beard will hide the scars on my lip and chin... Stitches come out on Friday.

UPDATE: As a couple of people have pointed out, I didn't actually say how it happened. (d'oh). Well, I went out for a cycle early yesterday, only planning on doing about 20km as I was going to meet some friends at 12 o'clock for lunch. I cycled through town and out to a forest and hacked around there for an hour or so on the trails, then went out the far side of the forest and joined a small road that looped back round the forest into town. All the difficult off-road stuff was done, and it was just an easy 5km cycle back to my place. As I headed into town, I went a slightly different way from usual and ended up in a part of town I hadn't been to for a year or so. I had to cross a fairly major road, but luckily there was an underpass under the road to get to the other side. There's a ramp on this side to go down to the underpass, so I cycle down it. Only it's not a ramp. It's stairs, two flights of them with a flat bit in the middle. I'm not carrying enough speed and when I hit the bottom of the first flight of stairs, the front wheel digs in. The bike rears up and throws me over the handlebars and down the next flight of stairs face first. Everything starts hurting and there's a lot of blood. I start shaking a lot, so drink the rest of my energy drink which calms me down again. I collect all my stuff off the ground (and my nerves), check my nose isn't broken, and then very slowly ride home. I get lots of strange looks from people on the way home. I try and clean it up myself, but there's just so much blood, and I was a bit concerned that the cut on my nose was black. So I phone a friend and get him to give me a lift to the hospital. The rest of the day was spent going "ouch" a lot.

UPDATE2: You can add a bruised rib to the list too. I did wonder why it hurt putting a shirt on / taking it off.

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